Ever since I was in school, there was one thing that I absolutely dreaded – being alone. I could handle being grounded, being in the black book of my teachers and my parents, but being alone – to the point that , having a meal by myself was unfathomable. And along with this “phobia” there is another problem that I have – I am stuck up. Wherever I go, I need familiar people around. It is almost disgusting. Now that I am in a new place I have started to break my shell bit by bit.
I go for walks alone. Scary, but yea. I still do catch myself thinking (read worrying) about what people would think about me walking alone. Yeah I know. Stupid. I haven’t evolved enough to have meals by myself. But I’m getting there. I know it sounds crazy, but I have decided not to have meals with the same set of people twice a day. I don’t know if this is getting a bit out of hand but, this my way of forcing myself to grow up. It’s high time. I just hope, this is not just the Hyderabad effect.
You would be amazed by the number of people here in EFL-U who are absolutely and completely comfortable by themselves. It’s amazing. Right now, I can’t wait to get there. That place where I won’t have to care about what anyone thinks of me; where I can be alone and happy.
I hope that place is not very far away.